justkarkar

Well…. Not people so much as their selfishness.

Innately inconsiderate, self-centered beings. I want to cry. I want to scream and curse the error of their ways into their spirit, but that will never work.

People are so selfish that my two best friends – and by best, I mean the two who know the most of my business – both repeatedly tell me I need to be more selfish. Be MORE selfish?

That’s.

Not.

Ok.

I fucking hate people.

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5yo Nailla was signed out of school by someone in Muslim garb claiming to be her mother.

Today, people are outraged.

Yesterday, those same people were having fits when being asked to show identification and follow protocol. 

In a culture where parents are disrespectful, of course the staff isn’t going to put up a fight in every situation. If I ask, “May I see your ID, ma’am?” and she gets aggravated, “the fuck I gotta show ID for? I come up in here every got dam day. Blah, blah, blah,” and I KNOW there’s a 90% chance my boss is going to take the parent’s side and either embarrass or reprimand me (or both), because he is also intimidated by the loud, reckless parents, what incentive do I have to put my foot down? Not defending the actions of this staff by any means, but that is the culture you create when you disrespect the people whose job it is to care for your children.

Not only are your children losing out educationally because the teacher can’t control 30-something children who know their parents will side with them no matter what, but you are physically putting them in harm’s way.

The people who are such a huge part of your children’s lives need to be your very best friends. Grow up. For Naiilla’s sake.

 

 

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She veered a little toward angry at the end, but this is life.

 

Firsthand experience (which you probably already know):

 

Dude and I are BOTH unemployed.

 

I’m collecting unemployment, temping when I find work, and working whatever odd jobs I can find, including taking a two-hour bus ride to clean fish for $7/hour on weekends, and babysitting until 5 in the morning, begging and borrowing from my friends and family, while he literally brings home NOTHING.

 

After six months of giving him job leads, suggestions, and bus fare, week after week of fussing, fighting and crying, on top of paying every last one of the bills and feeding him – he couldn’t even be bothered with physically making the trip to buy the groceries, I put him out.

 

Everybody says I should have been more patient.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

 

Secondhand story:

 

I have a girlfriend who lives with her boyfriend.

He comes home with girls’ numbers in his pocket, crazy texts popping up on his phone in the middle of the night, over the line flirting on social networks (he’s getting tagged in pictures hugged up on chicks at the bar, and having convos about “last night in the back seat of my car” on Twitter), catches attitudes with her if he finds her home when she’s not “supposed” to be there – one day she got off of work early, so she dressed up in the french maid costume & he flipped out on her for being at home – but she has the kool-aid coursing through her veins and believes it’s on her to make it work.

 

I have to console her every week, every month, then watch her go back to “but most women would just be happy to have a man at all, so I have to make this work.”

 

And it’s always the raggedy niggas who do the shittiest things to their girls, saying things like, “don’t go listening to your angry girlfriends.”

 

BURNS MY BROWNIES.

I smile at her, and I take off my clothes for you. I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you. I can’t breathe because I’m waiting for you. You own me. You control me. I belong to you.

Love.

*throws hands up and walks away*

He’s married.

There were two things I planned to do/change in sync with the trip to Cali, and, well, I’m going to do them anyway.

But, I can’t talk about them, because, well, we see my pattern of not following through with the things I announce, right? (See, diet & exercise. Also, relocating to LA.)

So…

Yesterday, I got that call from the recruiter about the one job, and have that interview coming up on Thursday.

Today, when I got home from therapy, I found a voicemail from another recruiter, but when I called her back, I got voicemail, and I haven’t yet heard back from her.

A few minutes later, I got a phone call that I thought was her, but it wasn’t her. It was a woman I interviewed with on July 12th. The job isn’t paying quite as much as I would like, but I can live with it. Everything else about it – location, job title, atmosphere – is what was on my checklist. I start Monday.

No more California dreamin’ for now.

Did I mention that life is funny?

Life is funny.

I’ve started packing. Yesterday I put out two bags of whatever I’ve been hoarding in the trash. One of my besties came and took like four grocery bags worth of stuff last night (clothes, shoes, household goods). I’m finally wrapping my head around the idea of leaving.

About 20 minutes ago, I got a call from a recruiter with whom I’ve worked in the past. I’ve been on eight interviews (ok, maybe there were only six or seven) with this one company – none of which resulted in a job offer for me – and now they want me to come in to meet a different hiring manager. She all but promised me the job, as if this one last interview is merely a formality.

The interview is next Thursday. Nine days before my one-way flight to Los Angeles.

My head is spinning. If I get the job, everything changes.


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  • Najeema: I've got the same plans (and posterboard on my kitchen table) for a vision board. I'll share mine if you share yours, lol. Hoping you attract everythi
  • NVRGVUP: Love is where it's at!