Here We Go Again

Posted on: December 28, 2011

Maximum Kara. 258 pounds of awesome. Philly, January 2010

So. I’m… Fat.

Once upon a time (circa 2006) I lost almost 40 pounds by loosely following the South Beach diet.

In 2008, according to my Weight Watchers Online records, I got down to 239 while loosely following their PointsPlus Plan.

In June 2009, I reached a high of 258 lbs and hovered in that area for about six months, maxing out again in January 2010 (see photo, left).

Over the course of 2010, I lost 30 pounds again – down to a low of 222 in October 2010 (see photo, below), but this time without any particular regime. While I made a conscious effort to be more healthy after seeing the New Year’s photo you see here, I mostly attribute it to living in other people’s homes and having my own issues with violating their space more than necessary. I stay in my room and out of their way as much as possible, which includes using the kitchen only when absolutely warranted.

36 pounds lighter and I really don't see the difference. Baltimore, October 2010.

Well, I’ve been living alone for almost a year now, and… Here we go again.

This very moment, I am exactly 10 pounds shy of my maximum. The vitals (BP, cholesterol, triglycerides, and blood sugar) are all good, as they always have been, except that gotdammed BMI is sky-high. My body fat percentage is only 4% above what is considered healthy, and my waist circumference only two inches larger than the recommended maximum. HOWEVER, at 5’9″ and 248 pounds, I have a Body Mass Index of 36.6. Anything over 25 is considered overweight, and anything over 30 is labeled obese. In that Fat Kara picture up there… my BMI was 38.1. Morbidly obese according to these guys. How obnoxious, right??!

To get my BMI in the normal range, I should weigh between 125 and 168 pounds. How is 125 pounds at 5’9 and some change even normal? Right now, my jeans are a size 14 which isn’t scary bad, and my bras are a 40F. Where, dear God, will my 80 pounds come from? I’ll end up as a “healthy” 34B? Eww. I don’t want to be thin or flat-chested. Not at all. I want “the perfect coke-bottle figure” (yeah, there’s a math to it, click the link) and to be able to buy bras at Victoria’s Secret like normal women. I’ll try to stick with the plan til I reach 168, but I can’t make any promises if  I like what I see at 200 pounds or somewhere else between here and there.

Also, the most rapid yet safe rate of weight loss is approximately 1% of  your body weight per week… So, I get to lose 2 – 2.5lbs per week for about five months, then 1.5 – 2lbs per week for another five months. Ten months is a long gotdam time to deny myself some chocolate filled cupcakes. Inhumane, even. So, we’ll have to take a break for my birthday in June, and start over immediately after. *sigh* By next New Years, I, too, can be healthily curvy and continue my mission to remake myself as a total sexpot.

This time, since I’m obviously at least moderately successful at both diets, even if I hadn’t the wherewithal to stick with the healthier way of life for more than a couple months in the past, I’m going for a long-term hybrid of South Beach and Weight Watchers. I’ll stick to my daily points value of 40, and am going to do the first two weeks low-fat and carb-free (or close to it). It’s really not so hard to eat fish, poultry, dairy, and vegetables for two weeks. Veggie omelets (with cheese) for breakfast, soup and salad (with cheese) for lunch, grilled or baked chicken or fish and veggies (with cheese) for dinner. After the two week cleansing and reconditioning period, I’ll reintroduce whole fruits and whole grains

None of this starts til I wake up on Sunday, January 1st, though. New week, new month, new year. It feels right and sounds like success.

As far as exercise, it’s three miles from here to 30th Street Station, so, I’ll make it a point to walk at least that far on a daily basis. I like seeing the sleepy city in the wee hours (and makes tons of friends that way), plus it gives me time to wake my grumpy ass up before I get to the office.

I went for a practice run of the diet today, and despite the irresponsible act of skipping breakfast, and that delicious ass bacon, it was a pretty healthy day. I went to Reading Terminal Market this morning (Wednesday mornings are best because it’s the first day that the Amish are there, as well as student discount day at Iovine’s) and for $12.82, I got: 6 plum tomatoes, 4 ears of white corn, 3 cucumbers, 2 broccoli crowns, 2 red onions, a head of cauliflower, a head of romaine, a stalk of celery, a bag of spinach, a bag of spring mix, and a bag of string beans. Word to the fine folks at Iovine Brothers and OK Lee Produce. #allfresheverything

While making my lunch, I had a slice of Brown Sugar Ham from Hatville Deli (in Reading Terminal Market). A serving, which is six slices, totals 2 points, but I literally only had one slice, so let’s call it one point as there are no halves in Pointsdom. Lunch turned out to be a huge salad of iceberg lettuce (1/4 head), 1 plum tomato, 1/4 cucumber (with skin), and less than 1/4 cup of diced red onion tossed with two tablespoons of Wishbone Italian Dressing, and a slice of american cheese (also from Hatville Deli) diced up on top of it all. I washed it down with a 20oz cup of green tea with one tablespoon of sugar in it, and a 16oz bottle of water. My PointsPlus tracker says all this, which stuffed me to the brim, had a total point value of FOUR (ham included), but I always round up, so I’ll call it five to be on the safe side.

Continuing with my ridiculously cheap cornucopia o’ produce, I wound up making a belly-busting (in more ways than one) dinner. There was a wrap of grilled chicken, cucumber, plum tomato & red onion tossed with balsamic vinaigrette and wrapped in a flour tortilla for an alleged value of five points; 1.5 cups of steamed broccoli and cauliflower topped with a melted Kraft Single for a value of two points (all in the cheese, of course); a cup of cabbage fried in the grease of two bacon strips (both of which I ate during preparation, of course), for a total value of three points; and a steamed cob of corn lightly sprinkled with sea salt and no butter for a total of two points. I added another 20 ounce cup of green tea with sugar and a 16oz bottle of water, of course. They say my heaping big meal and beverage combo was 12 points total. Of course, I’ll call it 13 (probably more like 14), but really, I wasn’t able to finish it all.

Even with my generous estimate of 19 points consumed today, I have 21 left. I’m fighting the urge to bake chocolate chip cookies. Luckily, I don’t think I have enough brown sugar left. But I’ma go look anyway. If I can talk myself down, though, I may settle for some Tostitos Hint of Lime chips topped with 2% cheddar, homemade chili, some salsa and a dollop of light sour cream. But that’s only 12 points total. Or be lazy and have a piece of Sargento Reduced Sodium String Cheese (one point). Or maybe I’ll finally discover the phenomenon of celery and peanut butter for three little points. Or, ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!!!

Which leaves three questions: 1 – What will I do with the rest of today’s points? 2 – How does anyone fail at this diet? 3 – How does anyone lose (weight) on this diet?

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  • Najeema: I've got the same plans (and posterboard on my kitchen table) for a vision board. I'll share mine if you share yours, lol. Hoping you attract everythi
  • NVRGVUP: Love is where it's at!
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