justkarkar

Internal Battle of the Day

Posted on: February 24, 2011

Here’s where I’m at right now.

I have an acquaintance who did me pretty dirty a while ago. This former friend got into a situation, then decided without my input and of their own free will that I was anti-whatever and took action against me based on that presumption. The moves were petty and largely went unnoticed by myself, which only fueled the guilt-laden fire.

The perp was projecting because I had grounds to be, do, and think all of which I was accused, but I never did any of it. I chose to disregard the situation as it was truthfully none of my business, which, as it turns out, was for the best.

Fast forward a couple years… the friendship is just not the same. The harm cannot be undone. Every time I think it is forgiven and forgotten, I catch myself behaving in a way that tells me I’m not completely over it. It’s not woman scorned “I’m not fucking with you,” but more like, child got burned once and is now wary of flames.

The person involved is 100% primadonna. Prior to the fallout, I would have bent to the vanity and catered to the cries for attention. Cuz, like I said, we were friends… and I always had a shoulder or whatever. Nowadays, I think twice. And what it boils down to is me saying, “Oh, who gives a fuck, you miserable attention whore” and going on about my business.

I don’t like being like that, though.

So, the new thing is the shade coming my way. The sham (at least in my opinion) of unsolicited greetings and uninstigated niceties. I respond in kind, in hopes that time will heal the wounds, but, it never does because when I try to reciprocate… when I reach out first, the response is tinged with, “don’t do me any favors.”

Like, for what, though?

So, anyway, I have good reason to believe that this pompous jerk is about to be scammed and disappointed by a business venture. The friend in me wants to warm the former friend about the reputation of the parties involved, but… it’s none of my business, and 100% likely to start a fight.

What to do… Oh, what to do!!!

Eh, c’est la vie.

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